Thursday, 4 February 2016


It's a big bizarre really, being stuck in a rut of uncertainty.

Really I have everything going for me, and have so much to be excited for. I am engaged to my best friend, I get to see him everyday. I changed jobs, reduced my hours, increased my wage. I should be happier, but I keep wanting more than what I have.

I want more money. I want more time for myself. I want to be in a busier city, I want to have more friends, I want to be more stylish, I want to be more unique, I want to be emotionally stronger, I want to have done the things I thought I would have done years ago.

I once heard that life is full of regrets, but I also once heard that you should live your life without regrets.

This year I want to change my outlook on life. I've always been a half full kind of gal with life, but with myself I'm half empty. I am so sure of myself, yet I'm so unsure of who I want to be?

It makes no sense!?

I want to have a healthier view of myself, and be proud of my achievements.


Not necessarily over past mistakes, but I tend to look at the things I used to do but now don't through rose tinted glasses. I need to look forward and stop considering going back to my old job, I need to either put in the effort to make this job work, or look for a new one.


Stop trying to mould myself into an expectation of others. I still need to take into account other people opinions and respect the way their feelings are affected by my actions. But I need to start doing things the way I really want to do them, not because I think someone is going to like/dislike me for it. I tend to hold myself back because I worry about other people judging me (Even if I don't even know them!)


Stop crying over everything! I used to have a much stronger mentality, I need to get it back. I need to be more more mentally prepared and organised so that I have the motivation to get up on time every morning. Perhaps I could even make my lunch in preparation for the day so I have something nutritious and healthy to look forward to whilst at work?

Wednesday, 3 February 2016

A Healthier Outlook

No word of a lie I'm writing this whilst eating a twix bar. Hence why I'm writing this. I'm hoping it'll give me a bit more motivation to be good.

I'm constantly in a hurry, in a hurry for the train, in a hurry for a meeting, a hurry to meet my boyfriend. And I'm almost constantly peckish. I'm a  big snacker. So I tend to pick up some processed rubbish in an aid to fill whatever hole there is.

For instance I woke up late this morning and forgot to prepare my lunch last night, therefore ended up picking up my lunch in a hurry. Today's lovely lunch consists of a packet of crisps, a twix bar (RIP - couldn't wait), microwavable chips, and a galaxy biscuit bar. Nutritious.    

Whereas yesterday I prepared and had a lovely salad :)

I'm not overweight and I have a pretty fast metabolism. So eating healthily isn't in order to lose weight. The problem when I eat bad food is I get bad skin from it and it puts me in a bad mood. I just need to put more thought and devote more time to eat properly. Yes that means waking up earlier to make some avocado on toast...

So here's a few of my 'aims':

1. Wake up earlier - Make a cup of tea and have a nice breakfast. I like avocado on toast and egg on toast. It'll take 20mins max. Wake up 30 mins earlier, go to bed 30 mins earlier. It's not like I'm losing sleep.

2. Buy nice food from the supermarket before - Although fruit and veg is so expensive, it's cheaper than a meal deal. At my old job I used buy salad from the supermarket. I'd use the fridge, plates and forks because they were nice. The facilities at my current job are to put it plainly - gross. Therefore I don't prepare food here, so I need to do it at home.

3. Exercise like I did - For my heart's sake. I used to swim, run and horse ride all the time. Now I walk from the station to walk. I would like to be more toned, but I need to look after my insides too by keeping a strong heart. Also endorphins. I could do with more happy hormones! My boyfriend has always done weights at home, but now he goes to the gym for the machines and equipment, maybe beg to join him?

4. Olive oil it to death - I like olive oil on salad, it makes it tastier. And bread. I used to have a bottle of Olive Oil and a bottle of balsamic glaze on my old work desk. I need to do it the same at my current job.

5. Try out vitamins - Omega 3 for the heart? Vitamin B for Energy?